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Should I Have a Daughter
Should I have a
daughter …?
That wasn’t a
question, it was a pause for thought.
You see, I wonder
what I ought to tell her.
First thing, I
suppose, is that she shouldn’t back down
When she’s right just
because someone yells at her.
Equally, though, she
should know to apologise when she’s wrong.
It’s not that nice,
but it doesn’t take too long,
Then, when she’s
done, she can go back to being friends with whomever she’s just made amends.
Second thing is that
she can believe what she likes,
But has to be able to
justify her thoughts,
For I will challenge
her.
No daughter of mine
is going to be a knee-jerk of any sort.
Nobody likes a bigot.
So I shall disconnect
from the plumbing that particular spigot.
(That’s a posh word
for ‘tap’.)
Third is a thing at
which I myself am crap –
It’s a good lesson,
though I’ve barely learned it:
You only get the
reward if you’ve sweated and toiled and bloody well earned it.
To do well, to aim
high, one has to grit one’s teeth and really try.
But if trying’s not
enough, and she still fails,
Then I’ll be there
with a consoling word and a lovely, lovely ale
Which she can drink
by the pint.
My pale, hairy arse
will that be thought of as being unladylike!
Four: I hope I can
give her the space she needs,
But if she calls me,
I’ll storm on in –
A knight in shining
tweed!
Zeus helps whomever
leaves her in tears for a day or a year,
Or dares to forget
her.
For I will give them
such a vicious hand-written letter!
And I’ll charge the
bastard for the postage!
But what I want for
her most is that she will be interesting.
For the interesting
will inherit the Earth.
And then they’ll go,
“Oh, thank you.
Oh, that will come in
handy. Oh look.”
Then they’ll go back
to they’re book.
For my daughter will
read and she will like it.
That sounds like a
threat, but it’s just a prediction.
In my family reading
is an in-built predilection,
A source of
affection.
She’ll read in Latin,
I hope,
So we can talk about
life in a “dead tongue”,
And I can share the
ancients’ wisdom on how to cope.
It’s my hope that
this list
(Though parts of it
were written half-pissed)
Will be sufficient
preparation.
I want for as long as
possible
To save her from the
realisation
That Daddy doesn’t
know everything.
He’s just as scared
and confused as the rest of the world,
But he’ll try.
That’s a promise to
you,
My (as yet,
completely hypothetical) little girl.
One hopes you're well,
yours,
ADWoodward
