Posts
On Civility
If you can’t be
civil, don’t be near me.
Them’s the rules.
And, by the way,
I know I mutter,
Under my gin-stained
breath,
With monotonous
regularity,
For the most
arbitrary of reasons,
That some bloke’s a
dick.
And equally, I know,
And feel some remorse,
That, at times,
I don’t even bother
To have the good
grace to mutter.
But I still claim the
right
To lay down
This forceful
Unilateral regulation,
Because I’m a
hypocrite,
A poorly-evolved
primate
Who does not pretend
To be a moral
example,
So my bad behaviour
Does not absolve you
From the stern and
solemn duty
To be a halfway
decent human being.
So, please,
If you’d be so kind,
Abide by my rule,
And, no matter how
tempting it might be,
Don’t,
For example,
Stand with headphones
blaring,
And an elbow in the
small of my back,
And don’t
Spend an entire train
journey
Blatantly staring
Down my friend’s
blouse,
And don’t -
And this irritated me
most,
Which is saying
something –
Shove me and shout
“Come on, I need to
get off here!
And if you don’t
hurry
The doors will shut!”
When the way is
barred
By people refusing to
move,
And I’m trying
With equal fervour
To de-train as well,
You self-absorbed,
egotistical,
Myopic, fucking
prick!
One hopes you're well,
Yours,
ADWoodward
